Although Valentines day is meant to be a love thing …. it can also make you feel that you are really unloved and alone!
I am sure most people must have spent a Valentine when they have felt “un valentined”.
The different ages of the Valentine
Think about it, when you are young (if you were like me), you would secretly hope that anonymous bouquet of flowers, would land unexpectedly on your doorstep, from some admiring, rich good looking guy, who “has just noticed you”. And year on year disappointment follows because that anonymous guy, generous enough to spend a fortune on a severely inflated bunch of red roses never materialises!
I know of plenty of people who have been driven to such depths of despair with Valentines day, that they have gone out and sent themselves a card. I have one friend who admitted years later, that she sent herself some flowers, on one particular sad and lonely Valentines.
It would be interesting to know the statistics for those of us who have sunk to such depths. There probably is multi million pound turnover, just on this, truth be known.
But I don’t think many people would be prepared to own up to it.
Eventually Hurrah! You join the Valentines Club.
Your partner may not be the romantic type, but you do exchange cards and after the initial Bridget Jones smugness of having a boyfriend and actually getting a Valentine card, flowers and maybe even a romantic dinner, you take it all rather for granted.
That is until you approach a Valentines Day feeling sad and lonely because you have split from your partner/husband!
One particularly February I was newly single and feeling rather “alone”. I really did not mind being alone – it was in fact a lot better than being with someone who was not right. However as Valentines day approached, whether I was sitting watching the television, reading a magazine or just wondering round the shops all I could see was stuff being advertised for Valentines Day. Even the restaurants I walked past had boards outside inviting people to book romantic candle lit dinners. Just what you need to give you a lift, when you are feeling sad and lonely.
I suddenly seemed to be the only single person left in the world. My brain seemed to be doing google like searches and all the searches displayed loving couples. It was as if my subconscious was hard-wired to seeing anything vaguely romantic.
Wherever I went everyone seemed to be with someone – apart from me. I really did feel like Billy No Mates.
So if you are having a good Valentines Day this year, spare a thought for all those who are putting a brave face on it. Maybe you can send them a card!
Remember most of us have been there sometime…and as my Dad used to always say, “nothing ever stays the same”. So you never know by next year you will be back in the Valentines Club – and even feeling a little smug.