Do you regularly spend your weekends relaxing and re-energising (rather than just recovering)?

¬ Do you spend your time doing the things that you want to do?

¬ Do you feel in control of your time (your life)?

¬ Can you look back over last year with a sense of achievement and satisfaction? ¬

If you’re not saying YES to all these questions, then maybe you’re due some time out to think about YOU, what YOU want and how YOU’RE going to achieve it. This is especially important when you are looking after small children.

‘Things that matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least’ Johann Wolfgang Goethe There is no absolute definition of ‘Life Balance’, but in an increasingly busy world with an ever-increasing number of choices, a sense of balance seems to come from being and doing on the outside what is important to you on the inside.

This means aligning time, energy and other resources so that they match your inner dreams, goals and priorities - the things you want to say YES to in your life.

‘WorkLife Balance’ is concerned with how you organise and arrange your time between your current working life (paid and/or unpaid!) and everything else you want in your life.

Being a parent means being in a constant state of change, so checking in with yourself fairly frequently is important if you are to keep your outer life aligned with these inner (and maybe unarticulated) priorities. And unless they do, you are likely to experience frustration and resentment against the things in your life that you see as stopping you from doing what you really want and guilt for not doing the other things better!

Not a great recipe for a happy life or fulfilling mothering. 6 steps that lead you to a happier Balanced life



Step 1 – Know what is important to you – values drive our decisions and provide our internal satisfaction barometer Tips • ‘values’ are things like ‘success,’ ‘caring’, ‘contribution’, ‘harmony’, ‘winning’, ‘love’, ‘friendship’, ‘responsibility’, ‘duty’ • we pick up many values unconsciously from people and circumstances around us as we grow up, so think about which values are the most important ones for you at this point in your life Knowing what your values and organising your life around what is important to YOU helps you to experience the confidence that comes from living true to yourself.



Step 2 – Know what you want - daydream to visualise and think about what YOU really want to be, do and have in your life Tips • start asking yourself questions such as -

what do I want to look back on in my life … ?’, ‘if I won the lottery I would … ’, ‘what sort of legacy do I want to leave in the world … ?’, ‘in my ideal world I would …’ ‘what needs to have happened every day/week/month/year/life for me to feel and say ‘that’s been an excellent day/week/month/year/life’ … ?’ • review where you are now and think about what you want to keep and what you want to change • make the dream strong and vivid enough to keep in the forefront of your mind as you make day-to-day decisions • capture your thoughts in a colourful picture – revisit it often and ‘dream’ on a regular basis – circumstances change and you change • you might want to ‘dream’ with others important to you Deciding what you want in life is like deciding on the destination for your journey – without it the journey, our day-to-day living becomes aimless and ultimately frustrating.

Step 3 – Think about your more immediate goals and priorities and what needs to happen for you to feel satisfied in each part of your life – Tips • ‘me’, ‘work’, ‘family’, ‘friends’, ‘home’ and ‘and…’ (whatever else would make your life full and complete) seem to be practical headings under which most people live out their lives • explore how you can live each part of your life in a way that’s consistent with your values • decide - what are your ‘must do’s’ in each of these areas? – distinguish these from the things you ‘might like to do if there’s time’ It’s important to have grand visions, and the skill in making them happen is in breaking them down into tangible timescales and small scale goals.

Step 4 – What results do you want in each part of your life over the coming year? Tips • how will you know when you’ve been successful? • what do you need to have achieved for you to be able to look back and say ‘it’s been a good 6/12 months’? Knowing ‘what good looks like’ means you’ll know when you’re on or off track so you can make minor adjustments to keep you focused on your achieving what you want.

Step 5 – Start to make your dreams and plans happen - schedule your priority actions into monthly, weekly and daily plans Tips • break each intention/goal down into an action plan - what do you need to do each month, each week and each day to ensure you’re living the life you want in all your roles? • spread your actions across the year and avoid times when you know you’ll be particularly busy • plan in regular weekly time to think about and plan the following week • review and reprioritise regularly Stephen Covey (in Habits of Highly Effective Families) talks of ‘scheduling your priorities’ rather than ‘prioritising your schedule’, and this step is about how you manage yourself and your time to achieve what you want – ie your most important things.

Step 6 – Make ‘living in balance’ into your normal way of life Tips • we live a lot of our lives on autopilot, so identify which everyday habits currently help you to be balanced (for example eating well, getting enough exercise, planning, being realistic about how long things take) and which undermine your ability to control and lead a balanced life (for example, saying yes to everything, spending time watching or doing things you’re not interested in) • decide what additional or new habits would be useful for you – experiment until you find the ones you feel comfortable with Finding a new autopilot that really helps you stay balanced means releasing enough time and energy to just get on and enjoy your life – and your children! For more support in living a happy healthy well-Balanced life,

(C) Lyn Murphy.  Life Balance KiT Lifestyle Diaries help you stay focused on your goals and dreams.  Visit -http://www.lifebalancekit.co.uk